New Beginnings

CHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE!!!!
www.bbcroc.com


Welcome to Beautiful Birth Choices Blogspot! A place to learn from each other and grow in our knowledge and understanding of pregnancy, birth and post partum. We hope that this can be a place where doulas, educators and women and their partners can explore the fascinating world of birth, freely ask questions, reflect and share memories of birth experiences and glean insight and perspective from others. We will do our best to respond to all posts in a timely and sensitive manner. Thank you for joining us!

BBC Class Schedule

JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW...

BBC offers 4 options for Natural Childbirth Classes ~ join us!

#1 A 5-week series in which we get a chance to cover a lot of topics very thoroughly through hands-on actives, games, videos, lecture, and a lot of fun interaction.
When: Wednesdays, 6:30—9pm
Cost: $105.00

#2 A one –day crash course is perfect if your schedule doesn’t allow for the full 5 week session. It is just like it sounds. As much info and hands-on practice as we can immerse you in on a fun filled Saturday.
When: Saturdays, 9:00 am—3 pm
Cost: $85.00

#3 A 3 week refresher course will help prepare you for baby number 2 (or 3 or 4). It helps to process the previous birth experience and make this one it’s own.
When: Wednesdays, 6:30pm—9pm Cost: $75.00
* Note it is the middle 3 classes of 5 week series

#4 Lastly, we teach private one on one classes that usually cover specific topics over 3-4 hours . All the classes are geared to prepare and empower you to have the wonderful birth you want.
When: Scheduled as needed
Cost is $25.00 hr/min 3 hrs

All of our classes give you tangible tools to take with you into your labor, but even more importantly, our hope is you leave empowered and informed of your choices.


2011 Babies...Welcome to the World, Little Ones!

*April 2nd - Welcome baby Whitney! Mom and Dad were ready to be patient, but you decided to show up ahead of schedule... and what a gift. An amazing birth, with two fabulous parents.

*March 29th - What a busy month! James Thomas was welcomed by his inspiring parents and his big brother, Jackson... in a fabulous VBAC birth. Congrats to you all!

*March 6th - Maryn Elsa joined her big sisters, and Mom and Dad could not be more in love. She is precious, and her parents are two absolutely incredible people - strong, perceptive, and beautiful in spirit. What a memorable and unforgettable birth!

*March 1st - I know we say AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL and all those adjectives a lot - but this birth!!!! So powerful and strong! Mom had a natural normal delivery. Great - but it was after TWO C-SECTIONS!! VBA2C we call them and they are VERY rare!! Such support and power in the room. Welcome Dylan Patrick and thank you for trailblazing a way for other VBA2C's to come!!!

* February 24th - #7 in a long line of brothers and one sister... Judah joined his family. A precious new life, so welcome and loved! Mom was absolutely amazing - intuitive, calm, steady - and Dad was a support beyond measure. You are treasures!

* February 8th - How many of you were at 7 cm and wanting a deck of cards to play with while you "waited" for labor to "begin"???? Once it did - Robert was ushered quickly into the waiting arms of his mom & dad and met his big sister Mae! Amazing!

* February 7th - Baby Ruby changed the song... to Ruby Monday! Her birth was swift, powerful, and so welcome. Mom and Dad were absolutely wonderful together - so in tune and focused. You're stronger than you believed!

* January 29th - Isaiah Benjamin was danced into at 6:15 a.m. His mother swayed and moved that baby down having a quick and wonderful labor in the process. Congrats Mom & Dad!

* January 18th - After a labor without any doubt in the air, Miss Olive was born and welcomed by her beautiful parents and big brother Jonah!

* Right on target to wish everyone a Happy New Year's, Gray Ellis (isn't that a great name?) was born on January 1st, 2011. A great birthdate, too... 1/1/11! Congratulations to his amazing parents and grandparents!

2010 Babies...Welcome to the World, Little Ones!

*December 29th - just in time for tax deadline - Miss Ella decided she was done and ready to come out NOW. The most amazingly quiet and peaceful baby! To many years of peace and quiet for your parents! Congrats!

* Snowstorm almost caused Mr. Aiden Mark to be born without Daddy! Early and a labor "that only really hurt for about 45 minutes" left all support unaware that the time was now! Parklot - I mean Mt. Hope added to the delay but all was well and all are healthy and happy!!! Early Christmas Gift!

* Baby Grace, who's name tops the year, joined her Mommy and three big brothers on November 24th, making it a very busy week! Congratulations to this wonderful family!

* Kyler made a fabulous entrance into the world to be a part of a very special family on November 23rd. His big sister is proud and his parents were strong and such a beautiful support to each other!

* Jonah gave his parent a lot to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving week! Support and strength in all the right places! Congrats Family!!

* Twins! Edward and Emerson (Eddie & Emmy) joined their Mom and Dad on November 8th... as different and precious as twins can possibly be. Beautiful, ready to nurse, and a joy to their family. Congrats!!

* Arriving at the hospital pushing! Love it! November 5th, Lucy Blue gently was born. The attending Doc (who has been practicing a while) said "One of the most beautiful births I've seen". Just lovely!

* Before they knew what hit them, on September 16th...Miss Grace just couldn't wait to met her loving and wonderful parents! Their beautiful love for each other could only be completed by her arrival.

* On September 15th, Robert Aidyn flew into the world to join his two big brothers! Literally, it was a quick, peaceful, and celebrated birth - with two amazing parents. I am so thrilled for you all!

* September 2nd, after 8 1/2 hours of pushing...yes almost 9 hours, Mr. Eli made his way under only the power of his amazing AMAZING mother. She had tremendous support by the SMG and a super loving husband!

* September already! Perfect timing for this growing family of five - Ivan Rudy became the new little brother. Strong, calm parents, and a wonderful and loving home to grow up in. Congratulations!!

* August 29th, Regan decided it takes only 80 hours to make an appearance! No way to explain the strength of character, spirit and body that his mother has. Keeping her on track, her husband, John was with her every second!

* The 11th of August welcomed Mary Grace - a precious baby girl to fill her Mama's arms. It was a long birth, but Mom was so strong, brave, and patient. What a team!

* August showed up, and so did Ahma! A birth that was peaceful, serene, and uncomplicated. Her amazing mother, and incredibly supportive dad, welcomed her with open arms.

* On July 22nd, the busy summer greeted a happy, healthy baby John - who's delighted parents were so thrilled to finally meet him. You have a terrific family!

* July 21st, Danti James was greeted by a very surprised mother (who was told it was a girl). After getting over the shock, she fell in love and the rest is history!

* July 3rd brought a surprise birth for BBC. While backing up another doula, Ms. Madeline was ushered into the world by two very amazing parents that went above and beyond their imagination of strength. All natural, baby!

* July 2nd came and brought with it lovely Isabella. She was fast, determined, and beautiful. Congrats to Genevieve, Asumani, and big brother, John!

* June 15th the now famous (on Facebook at least...has his own fan page) Elliot Thomas Babcock-Steiner came to join the family he was totally meant to have. You couldn't be more loved, little one!

* June 15th was quite a day! Welcome to Nina Kathryn - a healthy little one who is quite happy to be in her parent's arms. The way she listened to her Daddy's voice! It was a beautiful VBAC birth, full of strength and quiet determination. Congrats!

* June 4th Mr. Jonathan was brought into the world! His mama and her back worked very long and very hard. His papa was the best support ever! And his kitty siblings love all of his stuff. Congrats Guys!

* On May 14th , John "Jack" Rolland was born to a very strong mama. At one point the comment was made by a doctor visiting the room "I think she is the only one here not hooked up to anything!" LOVE IT!

* On May 12th, Evelyn Joyce was born in a most peaceful and serene birth - to a set of parents who were strong and confident about the nature of labor. Congratulations to you all - you are a blessing!

* April was a busy month! On the 26th, two weeks after her due date - in typical 'family fashion,' Gracie joined big brother, Jonah. They already have something in common. Except for the part where Gracie's birth was 3 1/2 hours! Mom and Dad - you were patient and strong, and my heroes!

* Aiden Michael was welcomed into his beautiful happy family on April 11th. His parents can't stop smiling! Handsome Boy!

* April 3rd - and we've added another beautiful little girl to the world! Jordan Elizabeth came - as fast as she possibly could - to greet us. Just two days after Daddy's birthday... the perfect gift. It's a good thing he remembered to finally tie his shoes after she was born! Congrats to a fabulous couple and a loving family.

* March came in like a lion, and brought sweet baby Callie with it on the eighth of the month... What a precious gift! Mom was determined, beautiful, and strong - and had 100% loving support from Dad. Congratulations to big brother, Jack, too! I'm so proud of you all!

* Starting the New Year off right, Ryan Benjamin made his appearance on January 23rd, 2010. Congratulations to this wonderful family! His parents were strong, beautiful, and patient - and this little star is blessed to call them "Mom and Dad..."







Friday, December 5, 2008

Childbirth Classes on the Westside, Ladies!

We are very proud to announce that we will be starting Natural Childbirth Classes on the Westside beginning in the month of February.

We have two 5 week sessions. February 26 - March 26 and March 11 - April 8th. We will also have a 1 day course for those wanting a refresher or if your schedule just doesn't allow for the 5 weeks. This class will be on Saturday, March 28th.

Also in February we will hold a info class on what fun options you have during your pregnancy, childbirth and beyond. Everything from recommended books to mom's support groups. We will talk about different care practitioners, locations for birth, positions for birth, doulas, childbirth classes, etc. This class will be held on February 12th.

These classes will be held through the Greece Community Adult Education and the Hilton Community School District. Here are the numbers to contact for each class! Look forward to seeing you there and tell your friends!

5 week 2/26 - 3/26 6:30pm - 9pm - Contact Connie at Greece Community Ed 966-2053
5 week 3/11 - 4/8 6:30pm - 9pm - Contact Barbara at Hilton Community SD 392-1000 ext 7045
1 day refresher 3/28th - 9 am - 4 pm - Contact Barbara at Hilton 392-1000 ext. 7045
Pregnancy, Childbirth & Beyond Info night 2/12 6:30 pm - 8 pm - Contact Barbara at Hilton 392-1000 ext 7045
Feel free to always contact us to ask any questions! 392-7539

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Community

Women are cool. We just naturally feel the need to bond and take care of other women. Even when I meet or have contact with a woman that doesn’t strike me as “best friend material”, my brain still starts going through all the ways I might be able to support her through whatever trial she is going through. I am sure we have all had those women who have even been mean or hateful to us, but if/when we find out they are struggling or unhappy about something (usually why they lash out with bad vibes to begin with) our anger and hurt melts a bit and that caring community nature begins to bubble up to the top. We are just designed that way.

I just helped our own Pat Predmore, local and national pillar in the birth community, with her Birth Doula Workshop. I have to say we are SOOO lucky to have Pat here teaching your local doulas. She is the trainer of all the trainers of doula nationwide for DONA, International. She is amazing and really knows her stuff. Julia and I were both in the same Birth Doula Workshop 4 ½ years ago and are so honored to have had that opportunity to learn and continue to learn under her. Point being….she empowers the BEST doulas and a whole new batch of them just finished their training on Sunday. Julia and I both try and help out when Pat does a training and I take away something from each group and what really struck me this time is what a sense of community I felt. It is always reaffirming to meet and bond with women who are as “coo coo for cocoa puffs” for birth stuff as you are, but I was just so proud to see these strong amazing women going forth with a mission to help and support their community of women. Doula-ing in definition is involved in birth or the postpartum period, but those of us who are doulas know that doula-ing happens all the time between women in many different circumstances. So tap into your own inner doula and allow yourself to be aware of what is going on in your own communities of women and beyond. Find ways you can support women. Take that step outside of yourself. I promise you it is rewarding beyond measure.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Missing in Action

We have been missing in action for many weeks now... Could it be months?  Great apologies for our neglect.  Summer hit with a wave of force and we disappeared in the action for a while.  As with many transitions, it takes a little bit to get your head above water and then you can breathe again.  Whew!  

I attended a wonderful birth last evening and I am still reaping the benefits and blessings of the experience.  Birth is such a miracle - normal, natural birth is a gift and right for every woman.  What joy to watch the 'dance of hormones' over the course of a labor.  To know on one hand that we have this curse of labor pain in our lives, but on the other hand to know that we have these amazing bodies that know exactly what to do and how to do it.  I highly recommend reading "Ecstatic Birth," by Sarah Buckley - a fabulous walk through the hormonal blueprint of labor.  Check it out on www.mothering.com in their article section!

Enjoy these lazy days of summer - even when they're not so lazy... they just don't last!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Recipes For Good Pregnancy, Birth & After

Lately I have been coming across some great recipes and wanted to share a few with you. Every week it seems like more so I might just add one or two or five to each blog I do from this time out. But to catch you up a bit on my findings, let's get cooking!

Baby Nog
(from Having a Baby, Naturally by Peggy O'Mara - editor and publisher of Mothering Mag)
This is a great during to have all during your pregnancy and breastfeeding. I has tons of protein for energy and B vitamins to help with stress. Both the yeast and molasses are good sources (naturally bio available which means not constipating!) sources of iron. Good for first thing in the morning!

1 cup cow, soy, or rice milk
1 raw egg (optional)
1 tablespoon nutritional yeast (if the drink gives you gas, start with 1 teaspoon and gradually increase to 1 tablespoon)
1 tablespoon blackstrap molasses (unsulfered) - again, start with less and built up if the taste is strong for you
1 tablespoon honey

Blend until frothy and serve in a chilled glass.

I have had this the last two mornings...what women couldn't use more protein, B vitamins and iron! Tastes really good - but better cold so chilled glass a great idea or just add a few ice cubes. I did use the raw egg.


Labor Aid
(go figure!! These are from the Mothering blogsite http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=365589)
Recipe #1
1/2 c apricot nectar
1 c apple juice
2 c orange juice
1 c pineapple juice
twist of lemon or lime
Recipe #2
1/2 apricot nectar
1 c pineapple juice
1/2 c orange juice
1 1/4 t sea salt
Recipe #3
2 c tomato juice
1/2 c water
2 dashes tamari
juice of 1/2 lime
Recipe #4
1/3 cup real lemon juice
1/3 c honey
1 tablet calcium lactate, powdered
water to make a quart
Mothering blogsite comment: those are the ones my midwife gave me. what I ended up actually making while I was in labor was pineapple/orange juice with liquid calcium in it (I got liquid calcium at Marc's or any drugstore i guess) during labor I drank that, water, or 'pregnancy tea' if I wanted something hot.


Pre-made:
Emergen-C
Knudsen's Recharge
Recipes:
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
3 Tablespoons sweetener (honey preferably)
juice of 1 lemon
1 quart of water
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup honey (or to taste)
1/4 tsp salt2 calcium/magnesium tablets, crushed
water to make 4 cups
1 quart water
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3-4 T sugar
1/2 packet sugar-free kool-aid (optional, or add juice for flavor)
1/4 teaspoon salt substitute (optional, but provides potassium)
1-cup cold water
1-cup fruit juice (apple or orange)
*1 teaspoon sugar or honey
1 pinch of salt
I can't verify any of these but the idea is that they are "clear liquids" that can be had during labor in some hospitals and that they keep up your energy/electrolytes. Oh yeah and HYDRATED!
Housepoet's Lactation Cookies
Ingredients:
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
4 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons flax seed meal*
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups oats, thick cut if you can get them
1 cup or more chocolate chips
2 tablespoons of brewers yeast** (be generous)
Directions:
Preheat oven at 375 degrees F.
Mix together 2 tablespoons of flax seed meal and water, set aside for 3-5 minutes.
Cream (beat well) butter and sugar.
Add eggs one at a time, mix well.
Stir flax seed mixture and add with vanilla to the margarine mix.
Beat until blended.
Sift together dry ingredients, except oats and chips.
Add to margarine mixture.
Stir in oats then chips.
Scoop or drop onto baking sheet, preferably lined with parchment.
The dough is a little crumbly, so it helps to use a scoop.
Bake 8-12 minutes, depending on size of cookies.
Serves: 6 dozen cookies
*can be found at any local health food store
**IT MUST BE BREWERS YEAST (Nutritional yeast same thing), NO SUBSTITUTIONS.
These I have made and often. They are my father-in-laws favorite cookies...he just doesn't know what they are called! hehe Delicious!!!!!!!
Enjoy and hope you send us some of your favorite recipes!!!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Transition unto Transformation

My family is currently experiencing what I believe to be the throws of transition... So it got me thinking about birth (of course), because what we're doing is birthing a new day for our household. For a couple of years now we have been juggling the idea of actually settling into Rochester, finding that 'permanent job,' buying the house in the country, rounding off our family with this 'last' little one. Finding our groove. Basically ~ early labor.

Exactly a year ago we hit active labor hard and heavy ~ my husband landed a great job in a career of his choice, we gave birth to baby number five, and we sold our wonderful home in the city and moved out to a beautiful (but totally different!) country location. What a year. Non-stop action for twelve straight months. One might think that was it... labor pains done, on to greener pasture.

Along comes transition. Ahh - what a word. According to Wikipedia, " 'trans' is a Latin noun or prefix, meaning "across", "beyond" or "on the opposite side [of]." Transition is that incredibly real and somewhat treacherous part of the journey to the other side. Typically short-lived, it is the embodiment of pain, challenge, questioning and fear. What is happening? Why did we do this? I want to go home! Make it go away.

This is exactly where my family finds itself right now... worn out from active labor and in the midst of major transition. We're trying desperately to settle in and claim this new way of living - to find the rhythm of our labor as it moves fast and furious through our home. Gardens, flower beds, new work schedules, commutes to the city, new neighbors, pool maintenance, a busy toddler, bugs, snakes, chicken coops, clothes lines, wood burning furnaces, school work, major lawn mowing, children that grow like weeds, new doctors - dentists - hair dressers - stores - sports groups - clubs and more. The list goes on and on. Transition ~ crossing over ~ can be painful and it's hard work. But wait a minute...

A word about transition - it is most definitely not without its' merits. Transition is undoubtedly the most painful and frightening part of labor... the time when you wonder if you can possibly make it through. Many women contemplate the use of pain medications during transition (I'm currently considering chocolate by the truck load), they doubt their ability and strength (My husband is trying to figure out who this person is that he's married to and what happened to his wife) and they need access to unlimited support and reassurance (I'm about to call in the 'mother ship' for reinforcements). But this is also a time for 'crossing over' in our lives as women ~ finding a new strength and passion inside ourselves that we might not know exists. Drawing courage from deep within, leaning on the strengths in your life and moving forward with perseverance. You will be a different person for the experience ~ completely transformed.

Let transition work for you.

Now second stage... pushing! That is what I'm hanging on for. Work ~ with reward. Children running the countryside in bare feet, vegetables peeking their heads up out of the rich soil of my new garden, chickens laying eggs for little hands to collect, laundry blowing in the breeze, hot and lazy days of summer to jump in the swimming pool, a warm and cozy home heated with our own fire when the days once again turn cool, routine. Second stage just feels different, and the gifts are visible and within arm's reach!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

VBAC...we got your back

April is not only the true sign that Spring is REALLY HERE!!! But it is also Cesarean Awareness Month. So I wanted to share a little about an email we received that blew me away. It was from a woman with amazing foresight and an incredible respect for birth. She was not yet pregnant with her second child, but since her first was born via c-section she wanted to start collecting information and preparing for a future VBAC. A VBAC is a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. The reason for a cesarean can vary from elected to emergency. Most all fall in the middle and are due to presentation of the baby. This means the mother and her body have in no way “failed” in their ability to give birth, but that baby 's preferred position was one that the health care provider wouldn’t deliver a baby in. Or perhaps baby's presentation just wasn’t lined up right and no amount of pushing was going to get baby out. Doesn’t mean baby was too big or you were too small, just not the right way and didn’t fit well.

Contemplating a VBAC can bring up doubt in your ability to give birth. You have basically been told “Your body can not give birth”. This may have had an affect on your ability to breastfeed and bond with your baby. It might have even made you question your ability to parent. C-section is not just a surgical birth, but a completely abnormal event that takes your body and hormones a second or two to recalibrate to what just happened. One minute you are pregnant and the next you are not. Make sure you give yourself a bit of a break regarding how you felt and thought after baby was born.

In planning for your next birth your health care provider might say you may have a “trial of labor” which always makes me think “guilty or innocent” or that your labor is on trial to see if it will pass or fail. You may begin to think… “Well, we didn’t do so good last time…perhaps we should just skip the disappointment and pain…” but ladies this is not what labor is for. When labor begins on it’s own it signifies that the baby is ready to be born. It has released the hormones to begin labor. Throughout the labor, the baby’s system gets the stimulation it needs and the hormones released during the process, to make a better transition to life outside the womb. Being born though the birth canal also helps to remove the excess fluid off the lungs and gets baby ready to breathe. Labor and birth are significant to all of you.

Even as a doula and knowing I would have a doula at my birth, I still had a lot of mental preparation to do for my VBAC. I KNEW I could do it, but I didn’t believe I could do it sometimes. There is totally a difference. It was told to me and I believe it, that the number one reason for a successful VBAC is your Health Care Provider's confidence that you can do it. This is paramount. Even if they mean to or not, they have such subtle powers of causing you to doubt yourself. Make sure you have someone who believes in you and trust the birth process. I surrounded myself with wonderful and supportive people and trusted my body. The birth was life changing. Internal, external, eternal.

Here at BBC, we are doulas who have had VBAC and supported VBACs. Julia and I are excited for you to give birth vaginally but we understand the emotional and physical impact a previous cesarean can have on a birth and we will do everything in our power to help you. Educate yourself and allow yourself to be helped through this amazing experience.

A wonderful source of information is the International Cesarean Awareness Network website. Please use their site http://www.ican-online.org/ and contact them for further support and advice. They are a great group of people. As always, you know our support is only a phone call or email away.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bottom of the Ninth, Bases Loaded...

"Enjoy the end of your pregnancy..." "Take these last few days to relax and enjoy each other before baby joins you..." "Just spend this time feeling the baby move inside you and savor the moment..."

Pleeeeeease! Can you imagine saying this to the major league ball player in the bottom of the ninth, with the bases loaded? "Just enjoy the end of the game..." "Take these last few at bats to relax and have fun with each other..." "Spend this time savoring the sound of the crowd and the feel of the bat in your hands..."

While I will encourage any mom in the last few weeks of pregnancy to get a pedicure, have dinner out with dad, schedule a massage, or write a few special moments down in a precious baby book - when you are the one facing ten months and a watermelon bouncing on your pubic bone, these 'special moments' don't come across as optimal at the time. Rarely. Your primary thought is this so-called imminent labor. When will this baby get down to business and why isn't my body working right?

Trust, my friends. Your body is working perfectly. There are so many things that are working together to bring this baby into the world and - although it doesn't always seem like it - your body knows exactly what to do. (A good web article on the Six Ways to Progress in Labor - www.thedouladifference.com/six_ways_progress_labor.htm - your body is working hard!) Your baby has a time to be born and the hormones at work in you have a job to do. Whether it's a long wait, a long start, or just a long labor - there's a reason for everything. Each mom is uniquely designed and no two labors are alike. Ever. This birth belongs to you and your baby - it is not your mother's birth, not your sister's birth, not your best friend's birth, it certainly is not the birth of the check out lady at the grocery store, and it's not even one of your other children's births.

From someone who's been there (and not all that patiently... ask my doulas!), take heart. The bottom of the ninth, with the bases loaded, can be torturously thrilling ~ but the win is just ahead. Pretty soon your score board will read...

Monday, March 10, 2008

Peace, Love and Understanding...

Peace... it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

Michel Odent, MD

Couldn’t we all use a bit of peace? Michel Odent is an amazing normal birth advocate and was talking about our strength in finding peace during the work of labor, but couldn’t we also apply this to any area of our lives? Once the baby is out, (they do all come out), motherhood begins and that can be surprisingly…unpeaceful at times. Babies, toddlers, teenagers…they really are SO much less maintenance those first 40 weeks of life…in the womb! But just as you have your doula and partner during your labor to protect your space and help you to feel safe and find your peace; seek out support during motherhood. There are women that would welcome you to open up…vent…bounce ideas off. Julia and I have even thought about holding a monthly coffee date for that very reason and inviting other women to come and share and support each other. Help each other find peace in our everyday labors of love as a mother. We’ll keep you posted.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

First Steps...

Green is a wonderful color ~ a symbol of growth. The growing that we all do as women, as mothers, as parents on our journey. I would like to share these words from my own first steps in the world of birth…

My experience with birth has been one of both wonderment and fear, sprinkled with a twist of sheer joy like a smile working its way across the center of my soul. Since my first birth experience in September of 1996, I have grown to appreciate and respect the birth process in a way that I never quite expected, making me proud to carry this mantel of womanhood.

In September of 1996 I was prepared, or so I thought, to give birth to my first born child. This was a very exciting time in our lives. My husband and I had been married since 1993, had seen many friends and family members experience the joys of parenthood, and were ready to embark on the journey ourselves. We had taken the prescribed childbirth education course at the hospital, read "What to Expect When You're Expecting," knew that I wanted as natural of a process as possible, and had decided that I was going to breastfeed our baby. An ultrasound early on had informed us that we were having a healthy baby girl and we already had a name picked out… Kaela Ann Sittig. Her arrival was anticipated with excitement and joy.

By the time I approached the week of my due date, I was more than ready to have this baby 'on time!' A friend recommended that I drink a small amount of prune juice daily in order to induce a natural labor (I was to chicken to try some of the other methods). By Thursday morning, I was having small, but regular, contractions every 20 minutes. These contractions continued throughout my day at home and through the evening. By nightfall I was experiencing more difficult contractions at seven to ten minutes apart. Too excited to sleep, and too afraid to eat anything, I spent the night awake, marking every contraction down on paper while I played card games on the computer. By Friday morning, the contractions were wearing on me and I had not slept or eaten since Thursday morning. I was exhausted and beginning to feel defeated in my spirit. We phoned the doctor mid-morning and she sent us in to the hospital at about
11:00 am. By 12:00 pm, the attending physician at the hospital had sent us home stating that I was only 1 cm dilated.

We spent Friday afternoon at a college soccer game. My husband cheering in the stands, and me walking around the track timing contractions and swearing that as long as I lived I would never do this again. We were to be a one-child family. With contractions at four to six minutes apart and at least 60 seconds long we headed back to the hospital at about
5:00 pm. The hospital was crowded at this point, so I was put in a 'delivery room' instead of a birthing suite - I had missed my opportunity earlier that morning! Examination revealed that I was only 2-3 cm dilated and they were preparing to send me home once again. My one bowl of raisin bran and no sleep since Thursday morning had taken its toll… I was fragile and breaking into pieces by the moment. Relief came to me when I heard my doctor's report, "Keep her, I coming in and we're going to make this thing happen!"

My labor was all in my back at this point. My husband was with me and supportively rubbing the small of my back, holding my hand, and helping me to the bathroom. My parents came to witness the birth and the room was filling up. Lights were on, commotion in the hallway, the TV at times, nurses and attendings in and out. For some reason, I could not relax. When the pain began to worsen in my back, I began to loose control quickly. It seemed as if it would never end. My confinement to the bed at this point was due to the monitor and IV hookups, and I was being checked frequently as I slowly began to dilate. At some point during the evening, my doctor offered to break my water in order to speed the process up. I agreed.

After my water was broken, the pressure was so intense that I began to panic. When the nurse offered me Nubane, a drug to give me some relief, I accepted. Anything but a needle in my spine was ok with me. As the drug began to take affect, I was not only able to relax between contractions, but I began to fade out. The medication made me dizzy and disoriented when the pain was absent. I remember the room just spinning in circles. When the time to push came around
11:30 pm, I really did not know how! I was using all of the wrong muscles and I was so disoriented that I could not understand my doctor's instructions. Shortly after midnight someone said they spotted a head - this alone reminded that I was having a baby, a new life - and it spurred me on to finish the job. Kaela was born soon after and she was a wonderful, bloody, gooey mess with chubby legs and a lower lip that stuck out in a beautiful little baby pout. I was a mom. Through all of the pain, all of the confusion, all of the disorientation I knew one thing. I was a mom. Somehow, everything else had a way of evaporating in the moment.


My husband cut the cord and the nurses began to work on Kaela, measuring, weighing, and putting meds in her eyes that gave her a very blurry first view of her new parents. Meanwhile, my doctor began to work on my rather large episiotomy. When I was given my new baby to hold and she began to cry, the nurses encouraged me to put her to my breast. I believe that the drugs from delivery were not without their effects, because our first few tries at nursing were rough at best. In addition, I had not had adequate training in proper positioning. My new baby girl and I would struggle at this for six weeks, through pain, blood, scabs, and tears, until we finally made our way to a La Leche League meeting. We never gave up and she nursed successfully then until she was 18 months old.

My first childbirth experience was nothing short of a miracle, as births are, and I will forever love to recall those first few moments of my child's life - the rise and fall of her chest, the sound of her cry, the feel of her skin. As I recall the sequence of events now, I am able to look back and see what made certain parts of the experience frightening, exhausting, and difficult to handle. There is so much more that I wish I had known and been prepared for in order to make the experience more positive on all fronts, for both my baby and myself. I would learn from this experience… growing in the wisdom of motherhood.

Doula Support...

Connection through birth is an amazing reality. In this most incredible passage of life, we as doulas have an opportunity to connect with the journey itself. The journey of life into being. The journey of a woman into motherhood. The journey of a couple into a family. What an awesome responsibility! This connection is made when we reach out one woman to another and attempt to weave supportive threads into the fabric of the journey. The threads themselves are the very tools we rely on – education, physical comfort, emotional support, encouragement. Using these tools ever so gently and efficiently, we have the privilege of helping those with whom we work to connect with not only the product, if you will, but the joy and discovery of the process.

As a doula looks in her tool bag, one of the first tools she must draw upon is the role of education. In most situations, the initial contact between a woman, her chosen birth partner, and a doula is in the final months before her birth. It is at this crucial time that doulas actively educate and help to facilitate the process of knowledgeable decision making by the parents. Perhaps a birth plan has been developed… the doula may review this with her clients and use it as a point of reference for discussions about what decisions have been or may be made and how those may impact the outcome of the birthing and immediate post partum process. It is also important that during this time, the doula uses this opportunity to listen – hearing what is most important to her clients and what the primary aspects of the birth plan are is a key to a positive experience for a woman/couple. This is an invaluable learning process for both sides of the team.

After a doula has been called to a birth and a woman is in early or active labor, other tools such as physical comfort, emotional support, and encouragement will take a front row as the doula provides continuous labor support for her client. Whether in a home or hospital setting, a doula’s role is the same – we are present to support. Physical comfort measures may take on the role of addressing positioning for contractions, suggesting showers or baths for pain moderation, administering massage to mom or to dad during times of exhaustion, or breathing through contractions together to show patterning as well as empathy. Emotional support and encouragement are key during these minutes and hours as we support through our presence, never denying the impact of the woman to woman bond that is present in the room, but also never overstepping the role of the birth partner or the medical staff in this process. Laboring is a difficult job, and as the body wears thin so often does the spirit. It is our role to emotionally bear the task together, stepping through one contraction, one decision, one step at a time. Doulas can emotionally support and encourage through our body language, through our voices, through our hands.

When an infant is born, the birth doula has the privilege of carrying her duties into the first few hours and days of post partum. It is key to help establish breastfeeding, if desired, immediately after the baby is born, as well as to set up a post partum visit. Post partum, our job also stretches to encompass helping to capture the birth memory – ensuring that mom and family have a positive view of their birth and an innate trust in the journey.

The value of having a doula present at births has been grounded in research as well as in personal experience. It has been proven that obstetrical outcomes have been improved with the presence of a doula, including a reduction in the need for cesarean section, shortened length of labors, a decrease in pain medication required, and an enhancement in bonding and breastfeeding (The Doula Book, 2002). Beyond research, personal experience as a doula will tell you that most clients have a much greater rate of satisfaction with the birth process when a doula is present. When a doula’s job is complete, the woman and family with which she has worked has been more peaceful throughout the process, more informed in decision making, more empowered to advocate for themselves, more relaxed in the environment, hopefully more comfortable in labor, and expectantly more satisfied with the experience overall.

It is a doula’s job, and joy, to use the tools that we have been given in order to help ensure a more positive and healthy birth experience as the woman defines it. We have the unique privilege of connecting with others at this most intimate and tender of moments – the moment when a family is born and the world is graced by another beautiful presence.